Really Help a Loved One Diagnosed With Cancer

Compassion not sympathy is needed in powerful prayer

Compassion not sympathy is needed in powerful prayer

You CAN really help a loved one diagnosed with cancer or other disease.  Here are some lessons learned from my own healing adventure with God.

“It’s time for prayer requests or praise reports.” The minister asks today just like every church service.   But this time, it jolts your heart even more than usual . . . someone in your own family or metron has just had the “C Word” pronounced over their life which means it is also pronounced over your life. You raise your hand to ask your church family to pray for your loved one and wonder what the outcome will be.

After church, well-meaning members of the congregation approach you and express their sympathy and concern and promise to “keep you in their prayers”.   You know in your heart that yours is one of a great many families this insidious monster, Cancer, has attacked and you know the battle is usually long, difficult, and confusing. You think, “How can I be confident I am supporting my loved one meaningfully?”

First, let me assure you that your loved one does NOT need sympathy—compassion yes but sympathy no!   What’s the difference? Sympathy emits negative energy and is usually filled with words rooted in doubt, hopelessness, and meaningless platitudes—even clichés.   Compassion, on the other hand, helps move the situation toward the light and finds ways to actually make a difference.   Jesus never expressed sympathy; He always moved in compassion. He moved to find a way out of the dilemma.

Second, if at all possible, counsel and encourage your loved one to obtain second opinions and join them in prayer BEFORE making treatment decisions. It is unfortunately too common to make treatment decisions in haste and use prayer campaigns trying to muscle God into making decisions work.   Dialogue with God regarding such decisions and wait until you have peace regarding them.

Third, I caution you to be deliberate about seeking prayer rather than broadcasting the request. It is the quality of

We assume that putting our name on many prayer lists is a powerful way to increase our chances of being healed of cancer.  However, we know from science and Scripture that "hope against hope" prayer is impotent at best.

We assume that putting our name on many prayer lists is a powerful way to increase our chances of being healed of cancer. However, we know from science and Scripture that “hope against hope” prayer is impotent at best.

the prayer rather than the quantity that moves angels. Particularly counterproductive is prayer that questions God’s will for healing. Seek prayer support from people whose faith is strong in God’s Scriptural promises regarding healing and who you can be certain will pray intending for your loved one to be fully restored to health. Sometimes ministers are not the best choice. If you are in a church that is weak in faith for healing, I encourage you to find a church that is strong in that faith to support you.

Fourth, understand that it is God’s faithfulness to His own promises and His own loving character rather than your own or your loved one’s faith that you must depend on. God never changes and we can see in Jesus that He healed everyone who came to Him for healing.

Fifth, do not be confused or distracted by people who try to make excuses for God based on their own past circumstances. It is impossible to ask God for something you doubt He wants to do. Don’t be distracted by the usual “excuses” such as Paul’s thorn, John the Baptist, etc. These are NOT valid indications God doesn’t want every one of His children healed. Don’t be distracted by stories of wonderful Christians that dozens of people prayed for without their healing manifesting. You have no idea what unintentional negative words they spoke or others spoke into their situation that undermined their healing.

Sixth, understand that the most important thing your loved one needs in this attack is to realize that Jesus loves them now—fully, unconditionally, and powerfully. It is the people who believe that God really loves them that have their healing manifest. What can you, their loved one do? Help them realize this amazing love! As you do this, all the confusion and doubt and negativity dissolve and healing power flows with great energy.

Here is a link to a wonderful and fully Scriptural sermon on this very topic.   I HIGHLY recommend you listen to it and pray for God to empower you—to anoint you—to minister to your loved one in just the right way to reveal to them how loved they are.   It WILL change the entire situation and sozo (healing of body, soul and spirit) will occur.   The link: This video by Pastor Joseph Prince is available on itunes for $9.99 and the title is “Good Things Happen to People Who Believe God Loves Them”.

Note: I further discuss effective prayer for healing in the book, Slam the Door on Cancer and Lock It Out of Your Life, available on the “Shop” Page of this site or on .


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